FAQ on frequent myths about sex work
fascintator
madame_apples
i am putting together a list of the most common misconceptions and prejudices about sex work.  i plan on writing an intelligent, clear, honest response to each of them so i don't need to repeat myself every single time i encounter these misconceptions.  i don't want to just pump out sex positive propaganda but  rather really explore the concerns about sex work, acknowledging the difficult and dark potential of such work as well as the positive and richly rewarding.   i would like the help of others in this project. 

what are the negative perceptions about sex work?    what do you hear again and again that could do with clarifying? do you have secret concerns about sex work you do not voice for fear of being shot down by sex positive folk?  i want to collect a list of them and work through them one at a time, giving my perspective, that of other workers and also academic studies on the topics.  i want to honestly address these concerns. 

i am doing this because i told someone i thought was openminded and aware of sex positive ideas,  that i am training as a pro dominatrix.   his horrified, ignorant and self righteous response took me by surprise.   i thought he would understand and accept but he has been the furtherest from accepting yet. 

this got me to thinking... if he was a fly on the wall in my sessions and actually understood my life and experiences he would not react like that.  he is really responding to:

* his own personal experience of sexuality/sex work which he then projects onto me and my clients,
* cultural ideas about sex work that do not match my reality at all

in short, he is imganing that my life and work is something that it is not.  he is emotionally responding to his imagined version of my life, not my actual life. 

to get to the place i am currently at, i spent years and years exploring sexuality in a conscious and curious way.  i have studied and experienced  a multitude of different perspectives on the physical, cultural, political and spirituality of sex.   in conjunction with this i have explored the nature of consciousness and am pretty self aware.  this is over a decade of conscious study and examining and breaking through prejudices, misconceptions and figuring out exactly what i want and how i want it.  how can my previously mentioned friend be expected to instantly understand and support me?  it took me  more than10 years to get here afterall...  what is more, i have carried misconceptions about sexwork myself for some of that time.  even though i was up close to it, it took actually doing it to realise what it is really like for me...  how it really affects me on all levels...

so it is understandable  (and frustrating as hell!) that well meaning folk will misunderstand and alienate me over this chosen path.  this leaves me kinda lonely.  this means that if i want intimate friendships and relationships i have to spend a great deal of time and energy educating them, slowly and patiently again and again just so i can be accepted and understood.   exhausting!

so, its time to collect the most common misconceptions about sex work and write a comprehensive FAQ.  Something I can point at when folk get all horrified at my chosen path... here, read that.   if i do a good job i can publish it somewhere and help other sexworkers have something to point at too. 

wanna help?  leave a  comment here about the misunderstandings you have experienced or concerns you feel.  also links, points or perspectives that are sex work positive would be much appreciated.  the less reinventing of the wheel i have to do the better...

i also want you to feel free to email me privately with your concerns about sexwork at ladyavika at gmail dot com.  its only by really and honestly engaging with this topic that i can actually work out what the real concerns are... where they have merit... and where they are misunderstood.  it is an emotive topic so i request that you be respectful in your correspondance to me.  any personal attacks will not be responded to. 

 

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